True Life: We are going to a Fertility Specialist...

Yesterday, the anxiety started to kick in...

The appointment with the fertility specialist was finally upon us (was scheduled in May).

Luckily, I was able to sleep last night.  However, when I woke up this morning, I felt a little uneasy.  I think the hardest part of this whole process (so far) is the "unknown" that lies ahead.

While I am blessed to have a few people to talk to about this, I feel like the topic of fertility is taboo.  It seems like people are afraid to talk about IVF and fertility treatments and what it's like to really struggle with fertility (trying to conceive and/or coping with miscarriage).  This topic SUCKS to talk about; it's heart breaking, upsetting, sad, and difficult... but it's reality for many couples nowadays.

I am the FURTHEST thing from an expert in this field but as a person who just started this process, it really benefits me to have a more open dialogue about this scary and trivial time in my life.  While I know I have Anthony to lean on, he is also new to this process.  Instead of keeping these thoughts inside, I decided to write down my concerns, emotions, fears, and hopes.

Our appointment today was just the tip of the infertility treatment iceberg.  We met with our doctor (who seems fabulous), met with our nurse, and got a run down of the steps that might be taken throughout this process.  Some of the preliminary tests were run already and this will help us see what course of action will be taken next.

At this point, I may have lost some people's interest and if so, I apologize.  I am just a bundle of nerves as we embark on this journey.  My fears are real and will be addressed in time.  My emotions are all over the place.  And my hopes are really high for my future as a mom.

Currently, my greatest fear is learning there is NO hope for Anthony and I to conceive a child.  This would be heart breaking and pretty earth-shattering.  While it would be devastating, it is something I have to come to accept as a possibility at this point.  Along with this major fear, I have hope that everything will work out, one way or another.

This blog post may be a little TMI for some of you but I needed to put this out there.  I also wanted to help others who may be going through the same process as we are right now.  As we proceed, I plan to remain positive and optimistic.  It will be hard at times but I know Anthony and I will be okay.  We are already so grateful for the love and support people have shown us in regards to this struggle.  No one knows what lies ahead but we will fight to make our dreams our reality.

The one thing I ask of people is to be sensitive about this topic.  The next time you want to ask a couple that has been married for a few years, "What are you waiting for? Why don't you have babies yet?" think about the struggles they may secretly be facing.  Getting pregnant is not as black and white as many people think.  It can be a very hard process for many.  Be aware of this and try to remind yourself how you would feel if people constantly questioned why you weren't a parent yet.

IT SUCKS.

 To be continued...

My 5 Day Detox!

A few of my #wwsendtheloveteamslim girls have been doing the Whole30 program.  While I appreciate what whole30 stands for, I do not feel it would fit into my life the way I would want it to.  Therefore, I modified the main principle behind it (to eat healthy and "whole" foods).  Instead of doing a Whole30, I figured I would do a 5-day detox.  This detox would help me to make better food choices on a daily basis.

Rules:
1. No added sugars.
2. No dairy.
3. No gluten/bread.
4. No alcohol.

My goal was to complete this detox for 5 days.  I LOVED EVERY MINUTE OF IT!  Now, because of this, I will be continuing to live my life this way.  I am going to use the 80/20 rule.... 80% of the time, I will make sure to eat "clean" and 20% of the time, I will eat what I want (CHEESE, WINE, BREAD).

With this flexibility, I am able to stay in control of my life and health while still indulging occasionally.  The main reason I plan on doing this is because of how great I felt when I was doing the detox.  I felt healthier, leaner, and happier!

Here are a few of my meals from my 5 day detox:

 




















Today was supposed to be the start of Round Two for my Sugar Detox.  Instead of that, I threw myself a mini-pity party.  I will be starting tomorrow AND I will be continuing it on Saturday (which happens to be 4th of July).  Normally, I would use Saturday as an excuse to eat whatever I wanted and not think about what was going into my body.  THIS YEAR, I plan on sticking to the rules of my detox.  I KNOW I can do this....

The Importance of Loving Yourself!

This morning while I was perusing Instagram, I saw a few posts related to loving oneself.  People always talk about how they love their family and friends.. but rarely do people talk about loving themselves.

This post is not meant to be a lecture or a speech on how important it is to love yourself HOWEVER, I am realizing that this is such an important piece of everyone's weight loss journey.

We have all seen it before... Women who lose TONS of weight but still aren't happy with themselves.  Weight is only a number, there are so many things that actually measure self-worth.  It may be hard to ALWAYS see the best in ourselves but it is so important for us to feel good on the inside.

There are many reasons why I am on this journey but the number one reason has and always will be... ME: My health, my happiness, my overall well-being.

Now, I know I still have a long way to go on my journey but I'm happy to say that I have always loved myself.  There are times in my life when I feel more comfortable in my own skin but I am happy with the woman I have become.  This idea REALLY hit home for me today when I was looking at two pictures I took of myself.


My journey has not been easy, nor has it always gone in my favor, but I am so happy with where I am at this point.  Not only am I feeling great mentally and emotionally, I am loving the changes I am physically seeing with myself.

I compiled some recent pictures that are making me feel great about myself and are motivating me to continue on this journey.

***I am not trying to sound cocky or vain.  This is just a major motivation right now!!!

So remember to love yourself.  

Take the time to really appreciate the great qualities you possess.  Your weight is a number  It does NOT define you.  

It does NOT make you better or worse.  

Love what you stand for.  

Respect your body and mind.  

Take care of yourself.  

Reward yourself.  

LOVE YOU, FOR YOU, 

AS YOU ARE NOW AND IN THE FUTURE!

Remember, you are amazing!

June Goals... Wait, it's JUNE ALREADY?!

I am okay with my results.  While I know my month wasn't filled with the best eating, my exercise and activity has been ON POINT!  Goal #4 was not accomplished because I felt tracking on both MFP and WW was overwhelming.  I was already struggling with everything and it was way too much to track on both!

For June, my goals haven't changed much.  I am going to continue drinking 120 oz of water and working out 5 to 6 times per week.  Now, I am also aiming for 30 active minutes every day!!!

Most importantly to me are the last four goals.  I want to eat more fruits and veggies (by having them at every meal).  Additionally, I want to make the best food choices I can.  Simply Filling is the means for me to accomplish these goals.

Lastly, I want to cut down on snacking at night.  I feel like it undoes all of the good I do throughout the day.  I look forward to my next month on this journey!